Chptr 48: Introducing CYA (Cover Your Ass) Knitting

Indulge me for a few moments while I mourn the passing of what was, for many years, my reasonably firm, nicely proportionate rear end.

I don't have pictures of this ass of mine (or don't have any that I'm posting online, thankyouverymuch), but here is a picture of the front of me where I can assure you that the back of me looked pretty darn good, too.  (Blond wigs and martinis help.)  Lots of yoga, lots of walking. lots of biking: I was 38 in this picture.  I think I had actually gotten carded that year, and not by one of those places that cards everybody. 

So back to this post:

What's a former hottie to do when the days of the great ass are behind her?  (Yup, I'm not above going for the cheap laughs, folks; and I'll be here all week!) If she knits (helllllllllo gorgeous), then she starts knitting things for herself that cover that (s)ag(g)ing ass.

I think my first experience in realizing that I could cover my ass and still get attention (my poor mother: I think I came out of the womb screaming off-key and expecting a standing ovation from a packed house) was knitting the Colinette St. Ives jacket/coat/robe/large-cozy-thing.  It was a mad tear of knitting, one of the first projects that I had to knit on every second because 1) there was a lot of knitting involved, and 2) I was obsessed.

St. Ives Jacket

I knit this sucker up, wondered if I had the cohones to wear it to work, because after all - it resembled nothing more closely than an oversized bathrobe.  But when I was able to slip it on over a loose camisole and Chico's Travellers pants (the most comfortable pants you can ever wear in a professional setting - elastic waistband, non-clingy non-wrinkling non-picking up animal hair fabric) and realized my ass was covered and I did not have to wear Spanx, I was sold.

Now, I can't say I've worn this to board meetings (probably because I don't go to board meetings - hah!), but on a day when I have a lot of computer work to do and I I know I will be planted at my desk and need to be comfy, this jacket totally fits the bill.

Colinette has discontinued Tagliatelli, the yarn this is made from, which is a shame.  I don't know of any other merino tapes out there, and there is plenty of it available still.  Warning: this is one of those items that stretched way the heck out and ain't bouncing back.  If you tackle this, I'd do it knitting the item on much smaller needles than you think is sane.  (it's a one size pattern.)  I've worn it more than a dozen times and I would say that in those wearings, it's now about down to my knees, which I don't argue with as this is more of my rear view that I don't have to worry about exposing to the general public.

Work Jammies!

Ravelry link to this project.
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Chester is enjoying his hiatus while I knit madly on holiday gift scarves.  I finished another one yesterday but don't have pictures yet.  I also got another big box of yarn-love from Nangellini - am in Noro heaven, I tell you.  AND I am going to be making a commissioned scarf this week!  Woo hoo!  I think I'm going to do the Inside Outside scarf pattern.  We'll see how it goes...

Happy clicking!