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O'ahu born and Rockville bred, both Maryland and Hawai'i are home. Middle-aged knitter (believe me, my 40 is NOT the new 20) seeking the courage to live consciously, each and every moment. Now if I could just remember where I put my keys...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Adamant Knitter (or "A is for...")

This morning in the park.  And, yes, Chester knows he thought a typo.
Today I decided to work from home. Rainy day, boss in Japan, nightmare document to write (ok, I exaggerate: it is a document that has to please many masters and that takes a lot of fortitude), remote capabilities, why not?

But in order to have some stimulation, I hie me to the local Starbucks (and I mention them by name with no qualms because they offer health benefits to workers clocking more than 20 hours a week and have same-sex partner benefits). After assertively getting my coffee and spinach wrap ("are you sure someone put it in the oven? Not yet? Ok, I'll wait here for it" *stare fixedly at register worker until wrap is in my hands*), I wedge myself in the one remaining table available, and while the lighting sucks, it's by an outlet. Set up the laptop, put in my earplugs, get ready to prove that working remotely doubles my productivity, (especially because I was up at 5am finishing a Man Scarf and am therefore on a roll, baby) and... Outlook crashes.

scarf finished at 6.32am
Right now the little message box says my data file was not closed properly and is being checked for problems and that there are 12 hours remaining for the check. I'm not the only one who exaggerates, Microsoft does it too, because when I started this blog entry there were 34 hours remaining in the check.

Talk about wind outa my sails...

What to do but cast on?

But then I start thinking about this blog and how walking through the woods this morning, I wanted to start a list of knitter types or knitting moods in an alphabetical theme. Now, is could totally fall apart and lose momentum (like the great Colinette felting experiment: one entry to date), but as there are 7 hours left on my Outlook check, I shall commence.

A is for...

The Adamant Knitter. She whips out that knitting wherever, whenever. On public transportation she has no qualms about racing 15-year-olds with earbud blastomania to the last remaining seat on the subway car and playing dirty to get it.

The Angelic Knitter. He selflessly knits helmet liners and chemo caps, and can whip through pair after pair of mitten-top gloves for the homeless. He never gossips while doing this. The karma attached to his prayer shawls is pure.

Men in Knits: Sweaters to Knit That He Will WearThe Amorous Knitter. It's all about the boyfriend. Sweaters, socks, hats, scarves. Usually in the first year of the relationship, this is a phase that can sometimes extend into year two. Upon the breakup, she reclaims her needles by going through a very pink lace knitting phase.

The Apocolyptic Knitter. The sky is falling, the sky is falling. This sleeve is shaped all wrong and the decreases aren't matching up on both sides and somehow the pieces to seam - see how this side is an inch shorter than that side and how the heck did that happen and I hate this and I'm done and whoever wrote this pattern is getting an email from me, buddy, and... Oh, I had it pinned together upside down and backwards?

The Apologetic Knitter. "dear pattern-writer: I am so sorry that I flamed you on that knitting message board and called you all those names..."

Knitting For DummiesThe Apostolic Knitter. Don't ask her about her knitting or you will be learning to use your pens or pencils as needles along with whatever spare, ancient thread is in her bag - and this could even be dental floss. She is on a mission to convert the idle couch potatoes into scarf-producing (and therefore productive) members of society.

The Aloha Knitter. Love, love, love. He loves to knit and loves you and if you know him you may get an acrylic-yarn potholder (and an apologetic smile when it melts), a very long or very short scarf (depending on how much yarn is in the one skein he knows how to knit), and one sock with a promise of one that kinda matches sometime "soon".

The Admirable Knitter. She can slice, dice, steek (nerves of steel), do lacework, color work, belongs to three crafting guilds (knitters', crocheters and weavers) with a master rating from all three, spins her own yarn, can ferret out the best-grade wool in a sale bin, and comes with a set of Ginzu steak knives. But wait - there's more! She knows how to tenderly wash each fabric, the best blocking methods and tools, and can repair a puppy's enthusiastic demonstration of love on Mama's favorite poncho. (if you find her, send my way - I have a few handknit items with love bites that need attention.)

****
for myself, I mostly claim being an Adamant knitter. I knit everywhere anymore, with few apologies, and I live such a pure life these days that this is my song:



And, Alex, I'll take I KNIT for $6,000!

The attempt at interactive blogging yesterday didn't go so well, but feel free to chime in with your A-themed Knitters...

_________________

- Posted using BleogPress from my iPad

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for the laugh...and for taking me back to my freshman year in HS - Solid Gold AND Adam Ant...LOVE it! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG, there was lip-syncing on that show?!?!?11

    ReplyDelete